Life coach again.
In the psychology of happiness, or "subjective wellbeing" which is the scientific term, there are two types of happiness.
Hedonia (pleasure in the now) and Eudaimonia (personally meaningful actions).
Do you have a lot of meaningful elements in you daily life? Or in your life at all?
Eudaimonia can of course also be subjectively defined, for some it can be helping others, and for others it can be making a lot of money or having a great relationship with the family or a partner.
Now, there's a lot of ongoing debate on hedonia and eudaimonia between different schools of psychology, some arguing that a purely hedonistic life is optimal, some arguing the opposite, and some arguing that a healthy balance is the best.
My experience is that both the desire and need for both concepts are subjectively defined, but it seems to me that what you are describing here might be a need for and lack of eudaimonia in you life.
How does this resonate with you?